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Tag Archives: Yukio Hatoyama

(Photo Credit: LIFE)

TOKYO (IG News) — Five former members of the Liberal Democratic Old Farts Party have launched a new political party in Japan called 「たちあがれ日本」or the “Get It Up, Japan!” Party.

“It’s time for Japan to get it up again,” said Takeo “Droopy” Hiranuma turgidly, “it’s been too long since we’ve had a tumescent Japan.”

“Japan must stand erect,” stated former Finance Minister Kaoru “Yes, it’s my real hair!” Yosano swellingly, “the rigidity of the Japanese spirit amongst our members shall rise once again.”

“Let me be clear, it will be a long and hard ride,” intoned Prime Minister Yukio “Bird” Hatoyama tumidly, “this is not the time to distend and engorge ourselves with orotund language.”

“No more excuses,” panted Perky Oppai, chairperson of the Obasan Just Want to Have Fun Party, “Japan, just get it up already!”

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In other news, (^o^)/(⌒0⌒)/~~


(Photo: Happy Obasan picking coca leaves in Shizuoka Prefecture.)

TOKYO, Japan (IG News) — Prime Minister Yukio “Bird” Hatoyama announced today that Japan would legalize cocaine as part of a new economic revitalization and jobs creation program.

“Not only will this bold measure create jobs for Obasan in the countryside,” sniffed Hatoyama, “but it will also make the Japanese people feel better about the lack of true prospects for economic growth.”

“Sugoi! I feel like I could pick coca leaves all day!,” buzzed Henna Obasan, “And watch out when my Ojisan mixes viagra and coke with a shot of shochu! It’s like being 17 again! Bwah-ha-ha!”

“Outrageous! Cocaine is a gateway to Coca-Cola,” snorted Liberal Democratic Party chief Sadakazu “Little Dick” Tanigaki, “next thing you know no-talent talento will be injecting Fanta.”

Coca-Cola Japan announced a new drink product called “Diet Coke Coke” containing a 2% solution of cocaine and no sugar.

“Yes, Coke, Yes!” warbled spokesperson Perky Oppai, “Coke is it!”

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In other news, Mitsuya Cider launches “Cider Shock with Crystal Meth” featuring spokesperson and rehabilitated drug residue user Noriko “Da Nori-P” Sakai.

Tokyo’s fashionistas can’t get enough of the Smorkin’ Labbit.

“Everyone I know is into Smorkin’ Labbit,” said Tomodachi Inai, “but, of course, I don’t have any friends.”

Toyota denied rumors they were recycling stuck accelerator pedals into Smorkin’ Labbits.

“Categorically untrue,” said Toyota spokesperson Perky Oppai, “Toyota provides the software that controls the Smorkin’ Labbit.”

“Silly Smorkin’ Labbits, they should all be shot,” fumed Elmer Fudd in Hollywood, “Smork this!”

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In other news, Yukio “Bird” Hatoyama revealed his mother irons his Doraemon underwear every morning before handing him a big bag of illegal political contributions.

Tokyo’s fashionistas can’t get enough of the Smorkin’ Labbit.

“Everyone I know is into Smorkin’ Labbit,” said Tomodachi Inai, “but, of course, I don’t have any friends.”

Toyota denied rumors they were recycling stuck accelerator pedals into Smorkin’ Labbits.

“Categorically untrue,” said Toyota spokesperson Perky Oppai, “Toyota provides the software that controls the Smorkin’ Labbit.”

“Silly Smorkin’ Labbits, they should all be shot,” fumed Elmer Fudd in Hollywood, “Smork this!”

# # #

In other news, Yukio “Bird” Hatoyama revealed his mother irons his Doraemon underwear every morning before handing him a big bag of illegal political contributions.

Posted via email from invisiblegaijin

2009’s kanji 新 (shin) or “new” + Hatoyama’s 絆 (kizuna) or “relationship” =「新絆」or “new relationships” as in Tiger Woods.

2009’s kanji 新 (shin) or “new” + Hatoyama’s 絆 (kizuna) or “relationship” =「新絆」or “new relationships” as in Tiger Woods.

Posted via email from invisiblegaijin