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Tag Archives: balloon boy

Michael Jackson, the dead King of Pop, was allegedly photographed yesterday sitting on a bench in Hokkaido freezing his sesame buns off.
The dead King of Pop was apparently dressed as McDonald’s Japan Gaijin Stereotype Mr. James dressed as Ronald McDonald dressed as a convicted child molester.
Japanese entertainment weekly Uso Bakkari claimed the dead King of Pop is filming a new video, “This is Shit Too,” which features MJ rave-dancing with Noriko Sakai and “cuddling” the Balloon Boy.
Asked for comment, the dead King of Pop replied in Japanese, “Haaa? Maikeru? Chigau yo!” (translation: “It’s a new dance move, the Bench Walk!”).
FOX News reported that Bubbles the Chimpanzee is “overjoyed,” “looking forward to a reunion,” and, like the dead King of Pop, “opposed to healthcare reform.”
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In other news, Toyota denied rumors of signing Tiger Woods to endorse a new line of sudden-acceleration Lexus SUVs.

Posted via email from invisiblegaijin

sazaeUFO

Tarao “Tara-chan” Fuguta, the six-year-old boy feared to be aboard a flyaway dorayaki-shaped balloon, was found safe hiding in the attic of the Isono family home in the Asahigaoka area of Tokyo.

The tale of the “balloon boy” captivated and titillated Japanese audiences on an otherwise slow news day when no talento were arrested for drugs, naked dancing, or criminal lack of talent.

“Tara-chan,” one of the stars of the reality TV show, “Sazae-san,” got sick twice after blurting out “you said we did it for a show!” to his father, Masuo-niisan, when grilled by Tamori on a live broadcast of “Waratte Ii Tomo.”

The balloon boy’s mother, Sazae “Sazae-san” Fuguta, has confessed to the hoax, saying, “The network blames the show’s falling ratings on my sagging cartoon boobs. Even Masuo-niisan doesn’t want me like he used to. I was desperate for attention.”

The saga ended when the balloon crashed at Saga Airport and rescuers were shocked to find in the wreckage, not a little boy, but Crasher Squirrel, the long-forgotten internet meme, who commented, “This story should be about me, me, ME – I’m an internet meme, ha-hah-HAH!”

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In other news, fashion magazine Pinky announced it would suspend publication at yearend, stating, “Young women just aren’t interested in little fingers anymore.”

sazaeUFO

Tarao “Tara-chan” Fuguta, the six-year-old boy feared to be aboard a flyaway dorayaki-shaped balloon, was found safe hiding in the attic of the Isono family home in the Asahigaoka area of Tokyo.

The tale of the “balloon boy” captivated and titillated Japanese audiences on an otherwise slow news day when no talento were arrested for drugs, naked dancing, or criminal lack of talent.

“Tara-chan,” one of the stars of the reality TV show, “Sazae-san,” got sick twice after blurting out “you said we did it for a show!” to his father, Masuo-niisan, when grilled by Tamori on a live broadcast of “Waratte Ii Tomo.”

The balloon boy’s mother, Sazae “Sazae-san” Fuguta, has confessed to the hoax, saying, “The network blames the show’s falling ratings on my sagging cartoon boobs. Even Masuo-niisan doesn’t want me like he used to. I was desperate for attention.”

The saga ended when the balloon crashed at Saga Airport and rescuers were shocked to find in the wreckage, not a little boy, but Crasher Squirrel, the long-forgotten internet meme, who commented, “This story should be about me, me, ME – I’m an internet meme, ha-hah-HAH!”

# # #

In other news, fashion magazine Pinky announced it would suspend publication at yearend, stating, “Young women just aren’t interested in little fingers anymore.”