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XI’AN, China (IG Fashion News) — The hottest fashion trend this summer in China is big white bloomers visible beneath a pink gingham sundress, complemented by pink Converse All-Stars.

“This look captures the innocence and awkwardness of youth,” proclaimed Niubi NiuB, head designer of Xi’an Tang, “and combined with a knock-kneed walk, this look is guaranteed to bring middle-aged men to their knees.”

“I like the way old guys start drooling when they pretend not to be looking,” giggled Xi’an middle schooler Xiao Lola, “it’s simultaneously cute and pathetic!”

In other fashion news, the “show off your beer belly” look remains the standard for Chinese men.

“Nothing says success like a big buddha belly proudly thrust out for all to see,” commented fashion commentator Ting Budong, “the classics never go out of style.”

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In other news, the people want to know, “does baby shampoo ever grow up?”

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