BEIJING (IG News) – Japan deployed today a new class of stealth anti-fishing-boat fishing boats to counter growing threats to the nation’s maritime security.
“This new class of stealthy fishing boats has the radar cross-section of shirako,” commented Ting Budong, senior analcyst at the Sino-Institute of Stealthy Stuff, “and radar-reflective white face paint makes the crew look like the ghost of Michael Jackson so feared by Chinese sailors.”
“The banners say, ‘your mother has a protruding belly button,’” said Rear Admiral Dekkai Oshiri, commander of the Japan Maritime Self-Defense Forces, “This will strike fear into the hearts of intruders more than sailors in drag dancing to AKB-48.”
Japan has recently seen a sharp increase in fishing boats disguised as fishing boats encroaching upon its economic exclusion zone, as well as large numbers of anti-whaling, anti-dolphin-hunting, and anti-anything-that-distracts-from-a-weak-economy-in-America boats.
When asked for comment, Perky Oppai, spokesperson for Japanese Prime Minister Naoto “Genghis” Kan, said in a written statement, “so sorry, the Prime Minister has gone fishing.”
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In other news, 18% of Japanese amoeba say they have no interest in asexual reproduction.