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BISHOUNEN, Japan (IG News) — “Kyaaah!” “Sugoooi!” “Umasou!” High-pitched screams of delight filled the air yesterday as the seasonal ban on hunting down little boys in the ocean was lifted across Japan.

Little boys are released into the water, where young women hunt them down relentlessly in an ancient tradition dating back to last summer.

A handful of these little boys are captured alive and sold into slavery in the Japanese entertainment industry.

The rest are herded into a hidden cove, then forced to watch Glee until their heads explode.

Activists claim that little boys contain dangerously high levels of frogs and snails and puppy dog tails, and thus should not be used in really cheap bento sold on the streets of Tokyo.

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In other news, Asian-American dolphins protest use of Japanese dolphins in “The Cove.”


  1. Hilarious! when i first read the headline I thought you were going to go another direction. This idea is rife with possibilities!

  2. This was one of those classic newspaper photos that just struck me as odd at first, then realized the little boy stuck out in a sea of bikinis. The image could be taken in many directions!

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