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New and Improved Armageddon!

It slices, it dices, it even makes julienne fries!

The End of Days can be yours for just $29.99 per month and your eternal soul!

But wait! There’s more! The first 100 callers will also receive a set of Ginsu knives!

The Anti-Christ and his evil minions are standing by to take your call!

Call 0120-666-666 toll-free now!

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All major credit cards accepted. No refunds, no returns. Offer of eternal damnation of your soul void where prohibited.

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