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(Photo: Professional penguin handlers line up penguins in preparation for the penguin kick-off ceremony of newlyweds, Mr. & Mrs. Ketobasu Zo.)

Tokyo, JAPAN — Japanese Prime Minister Yukio “Bird” Hatoyama announced today Japan has agreed to stop hunting whales and start kicking penguins.

“Japan will cease hunting whales immediately,” said Hatoyama, “the Japanese people prefer to eat endangered bluefin tuna anyways. And my mommy thinks penguins are cute.”

“We applaud Japan’s humane decision” said Australia Prime Minister Kevin “Kanga” Rudd, “and deny any similarities between whale hunting, the culling of kangaroos, and genocide.”

Social media experts, which does not include uber-geek @stevenagata, predict a boom in “penguin kick-off” ceremonies at Japanese weddings held in exotic overseas locations.

“Penguin kicking is the new iro-naoshi,” chirped Perky Oppai, owner of the Takasugiru Wedding Chapel, “everyone loves the squawk the cute little suckers make!”

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In other news, Japan media bores itself to death through saturation coverage of Olympic figure skaters Mao-chan, Mi-kitty, and what’s-her-name the chubby-faced girl.

Posted via email from invisiblegaijin

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