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(Photo: Shinto Shrine Maidens preparing to be sacrificed at the annual “Tiger Woods’ Woodie Juice” matsuri festival in Ookii Chinpoko, Kintama Prefecture.)

JAPAN (IG News)–Pocari Sweat, famed for being named after a bodily coolant, launched a new line of sexual energy drinks inspired by Tiger Woods and tag-lined “Is it on you?” in a nod to Japanese facial preferences.

Coca-Cola Japan, purveyor of the finest addictive beverages, counter-attacked  December 7th, a day that shall live in infamy, with Coke(tm) Lobotomy Lube(R) in a Facebook-cloned social media campaign called “Remember Red Pearl Necklaces!”

“I scream, you scream, we all es cream for Tiger Woods’ Woodie Juice,” gushed Shrine Maidens Perky Oppai and Shirigaru Onna, who then whined gutturally in their best moe voices, “Onii-chan (older brother) please touch me nau \{>v<};/<< orz<3 >> EOT.”

Dancing ST-HO @TandyChews BIMHO commented “Once Otaku, Never Bakufu” channeling Chushingura, the epic tale of futile revenge in a blaze of glory ending in ritual group suicide in Nippon.

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In other news, Sexy Girls in the Crowd Go Wild.


2 Comments

  1. Your posts are brilliant! – this one tops “Tiger Woods Penis Festival is Big in Japan” for sure 🙂 good stuff thanks!

    • Thanks for the kind remarks. Wasn’t sure anything could top a penis festival but I guess this one did.


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