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TOKYO — The Japanese people are busy preparing for celebrate 2010 as the “Year of Tiger Woods” including traditional fertility festivals featuring o-mikoshi mobile penis shrine parades.

“The new year, 2010, will be the year of the Tiger in the traditional lunar calendar,” explained Shinto priest Ookii Chinpoko, “and the Tiger is the symbol of power, virility, and compulsive shagging.”

Kawaii! I bet that shaft is stiff yet controllable,” cackled Ecchina Obasan, “and the over-sized head will surely hit my sweet spot but good.”

PR spokesperson for corporate sponsor Sagami Rubber Co., Ltd. Perky Oppai panted, “Tiger Woods is the prefect pitchman for our new line of ‘Huge’ condoms.”

Sports drink maker Pocari Sweat announced a new line of sexual energy drinks called, “Tiger Woods’ Woodie Juice” with the slogan, “Is it on you?” in a nod to Japanese cultural preferences.

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In other news, Japanese prime minster Yukio Hatoyama announced his decision to take an “indefinite” leave from making any decisions on anything.

Posted via email from invisiblegaijin

One Comment

  1. “Is it ON you?” Brilliant!

2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Shaun McLane, Wales Social Media. Wales Social Media said: Tiger Woods Penis Festival is Big in Japan #socialmedia #news […]

  2. […] About 100,000 people attended the traditional event, which is designated as a intangible cultural asset despite the absence of phallic objects or any connection with Tiger Woods. […]

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