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Yukio “The Bird” Hatoyama, leader of the Democratic Party of Japan, which swept to a landslide victory in today’s elections in Japan, has been implicated in a love triangle with an internet meme known only as “Crasher Squirrel.”

Sources close to the DPJ leader confirm the existence of photographs dating back decades that show Hatoyama, his wife, and an unidentified member of genera Sciurus Photointerruptus.

Taro “Dick” Aso, the soon-to-be-demonized-as-a-loser leader of the former ruling Liberal Democrat Party, commented, “hell, now I’ve got time to read all those manga I’ve been missing,” somewhat incongruously since the question was about the frequency of his erections.

Cute-but-dumber-than-all-hell TV announcer, Perky Oppai, commented, “Kawaii! Hatoyama-san looks like constipated Hello Kitty!”

McDonalds Japan spokes-gaijin, Mr. James, gushed, 「ハトヤマサンビッグマックミタイニスゴイネ!」。

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In other news, ignorantly stupid Americans shout down their mothers at town hall meeting about health care reform.

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