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Monthly Archives: May 2009

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Until I started using twitter, I never realized how much women:

(1) had too much sex

(2) wanted to have sex with me

(3) or were willing to show me various parts of their bodies!

And there’s so many of them, they even have numbers after their names.

Wow, I am clearly a sexy, hot, and desirable kind of guy!

Now, if you want to talk about the kind of emails I get, well, that’s another story.

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Japanese media has been fanning the flames of panic in its breathless, melodramatic, musically-enhanced coverage of the “battle at the borders” against H1H1 Novel Influenza.

Since the first cases of H1N1 infections were detected in Japan, however, the number of people confirmed with H1N1 infection has skyrocketed, shattering the media-perpetuated myth that “it’s an overseas disease” and that somehow the disease could be “stopped at Japan’s borders.”

So, naturally, the administration of Prime Minister Taro “Dick” Aso launched an “important” public service announcement trying to calm the populace down. 

Contradicting itself repeatedly, the PSAs basically tell the public, “the sky is falling!” but “don’t panic!” 

* Don’t relax your guard against infection! If treated early, there’s nothing to fear!

* Don’t worry! Your government has stockpiled Tamiflu for 38 million people!

* If you become symptomatic with high fever and coughs, don’t go to a hospital! Call the H1N1 Fever Hotline in your neighborhood first!

Let’s hope that those suffering from ostracism, the “blame game” (and H1N1 influenza) recover quickly.

Let’s be angry at cynical TV networks that will clearly do anything, including inducing a panic, to increase their pitiful ratings. Bastards.

Let’s laugh at stupid politicians who try to “look presidential” but end up looking dorky and making things worse.

For those with a sense of humor, here’s a link to the PSA, with English subtitles added for better comprehension.

Picture 1

Japanese media has been fanning the flames of panic in its breathless, melodramatic, musically-enhanced coverage of the “battle at the borders” against H1H1 Novel Influenza.

Since the first cases of H1N1 infections were detected in Japan, however, the number of people confirmed with H1N1 infection has skyrocketed, shattering the media-perpetuated myth that “it’s an overseas disease” and that somehow the disease could be “stopped at Japan’s borders.”

So, naturally, the administration of Prime Minister Taro “Dick” Aso launched an “important” public service announcement trying to calm the populace down. 

Contradicting itself repeatedly, the PSAs basically tell the public, “the sky is falling!” but “don’t panic!” 

* Don’t relax your guard against infection! If treated early, there’s nothing to fear!

* Don’t worry! Your government has stockpiled Tamiflu for 38 million people!

* If you become symptomatic with high fever and coughs, don’t go to a hospital! Call the H1N1 Fever Hotline in your neighborhood first!

Let’s hope that those suffering from ostracism, the “blame game” (and H1N1 influenza) recover quickly.

Let’s be angry at cynical TV networks that will clearly do anything, including inducing a panic, to increase their pitiful ratings. Bastards.

Let’s laugh at stupid politicians who try to “look presidential” but end up looking dorky and making things worse.

For those with a sense of humor, here’s a link to the PSA, with English subtitles added for better comprehension.

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The current media frenzy over H1N1 overshadows the somber statistic that 32,249 Japanese people chose to end their own lives in 2008. 

Notable were increases in suicides by young people (under 20, 20s, 30s) and decreases in suicides by people in their 50s, 60s, and 70s. People in their 50s remain the largest group.

One has to wonder what is driving more young people to suicide. Anxiety toward the future? Pressure at work? Too much TV?

Suicide does not have the religious or moral overtones as it has in the West, although I believe the “suicide is honorable” concept died with the last samurai (no, not the Tom Cruise version).

Japan, the country with the amazing shrinking population, would be better served by more focus on the forces driving suicides, not “exciting” video of masked medical crews racing through Narita.

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Ichiro Ozawa, head of the Democratic Party of Japan, has told other DPJ Old Farts he intends to resign over allegations of taking money from old farts in the construction industry.

DPJ Old Farts scramble to select new leader without having to take responsibility for it.

Japanese populace yawns and goes on with the daily grind, knowing that the next PM will be yet another Old Fart.

Some things never change.

Common Sense.

Mothers where I come from pound that stuff into their kids’ heads. With a baseball bat if necessary.

The Great State of California has strict “child endangerment” laws – bad/stupid/ignorant parents can be sent to jail for putting their kids in harm’s way.

Japan, the country with the amazing shrinking population, you would think treasures and protects its children.

As John Belushi always used to say, “But, noooooo!”

* Mother leaves kid in car to play pachinko. Kid asphyxiates. Mother wins box of Hello Kitty Pocky.

* Father drives car wearing seat belt (there’s a law). Kid is bouncing around between seats. Sudden stop, kid does Superman impersonation through windshield.

* Kids have to go to juku cram schools after school. Walk home alone at night. Kids get murdered and crammed into shallow graves.

I wish I was making this stuff up but you see and hear stories like this almost every day in the Japanese media.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t studied Japanese so hard.

知らぬが仏 (shiranu ga hotoke) = ignorance is bliss.

 

Oink

:©) “Oink if you have H1N1” t-shirts are available at cafepress.com/invisiblegaijin

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When I thought about snapping a photo, she gave me the evil eye and my iPhone suddenly got really hot. I turned and ran the other way.

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Bigots and Baguettes. You’ll find both in Tokyo.

Bigots come in all colors.

Gaijin who are convinced the Japanese are little children who need tough love from their colonial masters. Ah, the white man’s burden.

Nihonjin who are equally convinced Gaijin are teenagers with guns who must be placated lest they go postal on everyone, disrupting the “wa” of society. Leave that to the unemployed, under-employed, otaku-outsiders, or any other Nihonjin who dares to be different.

News media who inflame the racist in all of us. Gaijin-baiting remains an avocation of certain media – and the Gaijin fall for it every time.

Politicians who think they can score easy points with the “we the Japanese” riff – until nihongo-speaking Gaijin tip off the New York Times. Ah, gomensai.

Advertising that hammers the consumer with messages like “Gaijin use this product, it must be good!” 新登場 indeed.

And, of course, there are baguettes. Ah, les baguettes!

There are more French bakeries per square kilometer in Tokyo than in Paris. Some of the best baguettes in the world are baked here.

You can even get Baguettes in Bigot Bags!

I love this place.

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Bigots and Baguettes. You’ll find both in Tokyo.

Bigots come in all colors.

Gaijin who are convinced the Japanese are little children who need tough love from their colonial masters. Ah, the white man’s burden.

Nihonjin who are equally convinced Gaijin are teenagers with guns who must be placated lest they go postal on everyone, disrupting the “wa” of society. Leave that to the unemployed, under-employed, otaku-outsiders, or any other Nihonjin who dares to be different.

News media who inflame the racist in all of us. Gaijin-baiting remains an avocation of certain media – and the Gaijin fall for it every time.

Politicians who think they can score easy points with the “we the Japanese” riff – until nihongo-speaking Gaijin tip off the New York Times. Ah, gomensai.

Advertising that hammers the consumer with messages like “Gaijin use this product, it must be good!” 新登場 indeed.

And, of course, there are baguettes. Ah, les baguettes!

There are more French bakeries per square kilometer in Tokyo than in Paris. Some of the best baguettes in the world are baked here.

You can even get Baguettes in Bigot Bags!

I love this place.