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InvisibleGaijin
Anomalies in the Flow of Life
“please flush toilet paper after use in the water”
On a recent trip to Hokkaido, IG was struck not only by the culturally specific ironic dissonance of the message “please flush toilet paper after use in the water” but also the culturally specific need to translate that message into Chinese and Korean but not Spanish, English, French, German, Italian, Martian, etc.
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In other news, Toyota President Toyoda apologized with only a ’slight’ bow to the frenzied onanism of Japanese and non-Japanese media hoping to spark controversy. White House sources stated President Obama jived, “ain’t no big thing.”
Keywords for Dummies 101
Alexa.com provides great insight into a website’s traffic, where the visitors are coming from, and which keywords drive traffic to a site.
My favorite keyword string has to be #3 – “how to bake CHIKAN” … never thought of that! And, thanks to kind readers like you, invisiblegaijin.com is currently ranked as the 2,724,747th most visited website in the world! # # # In other news, Haitian missionaries kidnap American Baptists in Idaho.Only in Japan: Suntory Chocolate Sparkling
Review: New from Suntory – Chocolate Sparkling
Visually amused by the graphic design of label with chunks of chocolate floating in the soda.
Aroma is of rich chocolate, creamy, deep, and throaty.
The palette is surprised as the tongue is coated with waves of rich, chocolatey, smooth sensations.
And then the bubbles kick in, adding a tingle to the crispy finish.
Surprisingly long aftertaste.
The overall experience is a testament to the remarkable power of modern chemistry.
Worth a try but I’m afraid to look at the ingredients label.
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In other news, Apple iPad fails to live up to expectations. It doesn’t walk on water.
Japanese Exorcise Demons with Magical Beans
Millions of oni demons were ousted from their homes by magic soybeans today as humans invoked mame-maki rituals to celebrate the spring Setsubun across Japan.
“Demons out, good fortune in!” shouted Japanese prime minister Yukio “Bird” Hatoyama, “DPJ in, LDP out. You’re just jealous my mommy gives me a humongous allowance as political donations! Ha-ha!”
“You lie! My mommy gives me a bigger allowance than yours!” snapped LDP leader Sadakazu “Someone give me a nickname, please” Tanigaki, “Your mother has a protruding belly button!”
“I don’t believe that non-humans should be allowed to vote,” said former prime minister Taro “Dick” Aso, “once a gaijin, always a soy bean, I always say. Can I read my manga now, mommy?”
“Today, it’s magic beans used against demons. What’s next?” demanded Kowaizo Onioppai, spokesperson for the Japan Federation of Red and Blue Demons, “Predator drones firing salt-tipped cruise missiles at ghosts haunting your keitai cellphone?”
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In other news, Yokozuna Asashoryu testified, “I wasn’t drunk. I was practicing throwing Setsubun soy beans when one hit my ex-manager in the face, breaking his nose. So sorry, neh?”
Tokyo Fashion-Spotting
Today’s Tokyo fashion statement: Halloween in January.
Sent via iPhone.Proof the Emperor Pees Standing Up
The Meiji-era imperial urinal at the Hakodate City Office in Hokkaido.
Who you calling lesser?
The Red Panda, ailurus fulgens, is widely known as the “Lesser Panda” in Japan – and this guy is clearly not happy about it.
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